Wednesday, 26 June 2013


I just came across this article on CNN - Face it: Monogamy is unnatural

Is it? I wonder if jealousies in human nature can be a real barrier to polyamory. A bisexual friend was eager to develop his relationships in this way but his wife was very resistant and this has caused them real problems which they are still working at resolving. I would be happy for my woman to have a girlfriend - but another man? I'm not so sure. Is that a weakness in me?

I know there are readers of this blog for whom it works well. Are there others who have tried it and failed? What do you think of the article? What is most natural - polyamory or monogamy? I wonder if views are different for men or for women - or for straight, gay or bisexual?

Friday, 21 June 2013


Some time ago a friend, who sadly no longer blogs as far as I am aware, wrote
"This still leaves issues with the term 'pain' which classical definitions cannot help us with: pain is generally perceived by the population to mean something that should be avoided. Even coupling the word 'exquisite' with 'pain' doesn't seem to get the message across: pain is extreme sensation, and is not necessarily bad or best avoided."
She laughed when I quoted it back to her before we played. She hates being quoted. I suggested we changed "and is not necessarily bad or best avoided" to " and is sometimes to be embraced."

So "pain is extreme sensation and is sometimes to be embraced."

I wonder how many of you embrace pain. Can it be "exquisite"? I hate receiving it but get pleasure from administering it in appropriate and sensual situations.

Thursday, 13 June 2013

Nerves ...

Do you get nervous before a scene?

Is that positive or negative?

If there were no butterflies before a scene then is that implying an expectation that the scene will hold no power? Surely if a scene is going to be worthwhile then one would expect the sub to be nervous. Otherwise might it be just going through the motions of a well rehearsed set of activities. Surely there needs to be at least some nervous anticipation. I do not believe there should be real fear. I would worry about that. Might it be getting close to abuse if a sub were genuinely fearful before a scene?

So - do you expect to be nervous before a scene or have you become blasé about it? Have you very been really afraid? In which case how do you feel about that and how did it turn out? What about Doms - are you also anxious before a special scene?